24. Betrayal Trauma & The Holidays

Speaking Out on Financial Abuse

Betrayal Trauma & The Holidays

0:0045:23

Episode Description

Mr. Jay, relationship coach and betrayal trauma practitioner, discusses his background and shares his approach to dealing with betrayal trauma during the holidays.  He details his personal experiences of growing up with financial instability and the impact of his parents' behaviors on his relationship with money.  Mr. Jay emphasizes the importance of self-forgiveness and healing before making major decisions post-betrayal.  He advises setting boundaries, practicing grounding techniques, and maintaining self care.  He also talks in depth about keeping a holiday journal and focusing on creating meaningful memories instead of material gifts.  Mr. Jay also discusses his upcoming plans for '26 and the launching of a betrayal trauma course for a local university. 

 

KEY HIGHLIGHTS:

  1. Mr. Jay, relationship coach, educator and public speaker, highlights his background as a native of New York State and his enjoyment of his home town area. 

  2. He reflects on his childhood, describing his parents' financial irresponsibility and the impact it had on his family, including frequent moves due to financial instability. 

  3. Mr. Jay details his mother's overspending combined with his father's strict upbringing, which taught him the importance of earning what he wanted, even at a young age. 

  4. He shares personal anecdotes about his struggles, including having to collect cans for bus money to attend college without parental financial assistance, and reflects on  

  5. Mr. Jay explains the difference between stress and trauma, emphasizing that trauma overwhelms coping mechanisms. 

  6. He defines betrayal trauma as trauma caused by a primary attachment figure, such as a parent or a spouse, and discusses the unique challenges of healing betrayal trauma. 

  7. Mr. Jay advises listeners to set boundaries and not attend events that cause stress, emphasizing the importance of self care during the holidays. 

  8. He suggests several mental techniques to cope with triggering events and comments from holiday family members: keeping a holiday journal to manage thoughts and emotions, imagining oneself as a super hero, and engaging in activities that feed the soul. 

  9. Mr. Jay emphasizes the importance of self forgiveness and treating past traumas in order to heal the present. 

  10. He details suggestions for setting boundaries with family members during the holidays and the challenges of receiving support from family when disclosing relationship issues. 

  11. Mr. Jay shares his approach to New Year's resolutions, focusing on personal growth and self-improvement. 

 

LINKS: 

Mr. Jay Relationship Coach Web Site

 

www.financialabusehelp.net 

 

 

Episode Details

  • Status: Published

  • Release Date: Nov 25, 2025

  • Author: Laurie G.

  • Episode Type: full

  • Season: 1

  • Episode: 24

  • Rating: Clean

File Info

  • Size: 42 MB

  • Duration: 00:45:23

  • File Type: audio

  • Codec: mp3

  • Bitrate: 125.00 kbPs

  • Sample Rate: 44100 Hz

  • Upload Date: Nov 24th, 2025 04:01 PM

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Episode Description

Mr. Jay, relationship coach and betrayal trauma practitioner, discusses his background and shares his approach to dealing with betrayal trauma during the holidays.  He details his personal experiences of growing up with financial instability and the impact of his parents' behaviors on his relationship with money.  Mr. Jay emphasizes the importance of self-forgiveness and healing before making major decisions post-betrayal.  He advises setting boundaries, practicing grounding techniques, and maintaining self care.  He also talks in depth about keeping a holiday journal and focusing on creating meaningful memories instead of material gifts.  Mr. Jay also discusses his upcoming plans for '26 and the launching of a betrayal trauma course for a local university. 

 

KEY HIGHLIGHTS:

  1. Mr. Jay, relationship coach, educator and public speaker, highlights his background as a native of New York State and his enjoyment of his home town area. 

  2. He reflects on his childhood, describing his parents' financial irresponsibility and the impact it had on his family, including frequent moves due to financial instability. 

  3. Mr. Jay details his mother's overspending combined with his father's strict upbringing, which taught him the importance of earning what he wanted, even at a young age. 

  4. He shares personal anecdotes about his struggles, including having to collect cans for bus money to attend college without parental financial assistance, and reflects on  

  5. Mr. Jay explains the difference between stress and trauma, emphasizing that trauma overwhelms coping mechanisms. 

  6. He defines betrayal trauma as trauma caused by a primary attachment figure, such as a parent or a spouse, and discusses the unique challenges of healing betrayal trauma. 

  7. Mr. Jay advises listeners to set boundaries and not attend events that cause stress, emphasizing the importance of self care during the holidays. 

  8. He suggests several mental techniques to cope with triggering events and comments from holiday family members: keeping a holiday journal to manage thoughts and emotions, imagining oneself as a super hero, and engaging in activities that feed the soul. 

  9. Mr. Jay emphasizes the importance of self forgiveness and treating past traumas in order to heal the present. 

  10. He details suggestions for setting boundaries with family members during the holidays and the challenges of receiving support from family when disclosing relationship issues. 

  11. Mr. Jay shares his approach to New Year's resolutions, focusing on personal growth and self-improvement. 

 

LINKS: 

Mr. Jay Relationship Coach Web Site

Laurie

Financial abuse is not a relationship issue. Financial abuse is a domestic violence issue. 90% of domestic violence cases also include financial abuse.

https://www.financialabusehelp.net
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23. Enriching Island Communities with Domestic Abuse Resources